exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
