We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
