i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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