She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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