I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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