Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
do nipples grow back?
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