You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
