Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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