i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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