The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
