These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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