dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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