i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
