Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
