You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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