So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dear god my vagina.
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