drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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