Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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