So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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