I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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