if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
