just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
