I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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