remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize