can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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