wat bout pragnant strippers??
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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