Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I supernannyed him into submission
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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