I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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