Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
