SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
