He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i now understand why vodka
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
