I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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