Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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