The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
