ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
