I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
