I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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