Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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