Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
