remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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