i need an iv and a liver transplant
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
