This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize