why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
they're like a gay fantastic four
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
