Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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