and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize