Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Drake has all the answers
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
