just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Everything about him screamed your future.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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