Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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