I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
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