I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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