Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
