his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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