so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
