no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
