I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize