her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
