I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
