My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
