took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
God I need to hump something, right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize