i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
