Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
