she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
